Frohe Weihnachten!

1.       It has been awhile since I blogged, so I figured I would give an update on life. I have been crazy busy with numerous things. Trying to figure things out for when I move, planning details of the trip, and meetings. We are currently on a month long break from soccer, which is nice. I have been enjoying long runs. My host sister and I have been waking up at 6:30 to go and let me tell ya those first ten minutes are brutal. SO COLD. It is crazy because it is dark when we leave and when we come back, but it’s nice to have it done for the day.

2.       Last week we had an Advent Tea night for the women on the streets. It was an incredible turnout. 50 women came into the café and hung out and got gifts, etc. They were singing and laughing. It was neat.

3.       Last week at practice we had two Italian girls come. I come out of the locker room and my coach informs me to speak English with them. I got a little excited. The problem was that it was our last practice before winter break and they didn’t bring soccer stuff with them. They thought that they were just meeting with them coach. So we had to find clothes and shoes for them. First of all, they didn’t really know much English. Second, I then had to ask girls to take off some of their layers to provide for the Italians. My coach had to give me some of his clothes as well. It was like a charity event. Finally we got everything sorted out and practiced started. I then realized that how am I supposed to tell them what is going on when I don’t even know completely. Literally it was the blind leading the blind, but I felt sympathy for them because I know what it feels like to be the new girl outcast.

4.       I decided one of my least favorite things in life is the amount of leg room that is provided in public areas. Whether that be buses, trains, planes, whatever it is there is NEVER enough. But I always feel that it gets the most awkward when you are facing another person and it’s like you are straddling their legs. Like my leg, then their leg, then my leg, then their leg. If that makes sense. It’s like I don’t even know you and we are touching legs and this is awkward. Going along with the train thing, my biggest pet peeve is when there are open seats that are not next to anyone and someone comes and sits down practically on top of me. I mean people come one, look at me, I am huge. I need some room. So then I have to cross my legs to fit and squeeze my arms in. It’s a disaster. Partly I wish I could invent a world that is for tall people only. Everything is oversized. Like a Disneyland for tall people, but not rides just doing life. I mean great way to find tall men to date too eh?

Teammates and I at Christmas market after Hertha game

5.       I have been Christmas shopping so much lately and I come out with nothing. I am definitely a perfectionist when it comes to Christmas shopping especially if it is for people you haven’t known that long. I worry that they won’t like it or I didn’t spend enough or spent too much, etc. I know it’s the thought that counts and EVERYONE says that, but you don’t want to be the cheapo that didn’t bring a good gift. The part I love about Christmas here is the Christmas markets. They are amazing. They just make me smile and I love walking around them. I seriously think I will get fat living here during Christmas. The sweets are AMAZING!! I baked four different kinds of cookies yesterday. I know, what has happened to me? That is so girly, but it is kind of fun. It reminds me of my mom and I like that. I also finally made Thanksgiving dinner last Sunday. Everything worked out, except the pie crust tasted slightly salted. Oh well though. Now I know.

6.       Speaking of our Thanksgiving meal, my brother, his friend and I had the funniest exchange. So around the house all of us wrestle a lot or chase each other. Pretty similar to the Woerle household. So I ask my brother and his friend if they have ever heard of a wedgie and what it is in German. For some reason I was already laughing so I kept trying to explain it, but would just die laughing and they kept saying “Vedgie”. While I am laughing my brother shouts, yes I know what a vedgie is; it is when someone doesn’t eat meat. I am dying laughing at this and then finally I pull myself together to tell them. At this point his mom walks in and has been somewhat listening to the conversation and in Germans says something about a man not being able to produce. At this point, we are all just dying. She thought that when you do it to men they no longer can produce. It was hilarious, just another example of how communicating in another language often is not easy even when you somewhat understand.  All in all, it was funny, but maybe you had to be there.

Can't wait to see this kid tomorrow!!

7.       Well tomorrow is the BIG DAY, Michael comes to town! We leave Saturday to travel to Rome and then go to Paris, Dublin, and London. I am super excited and can’t wait. We will be staying with different friends along the way, so it will be good to see familiar faces. It will be quite the adventure. So pray for safe travels! Hope you have a Merry Christmas and next time I blog it will probably be the New Year! I really have missed everyone from home lately. It’s not the same without the annual “Ugly Sweater Party” or “Grown Up Christmas Party” or all my mom’s amazing treats. J

Kurz

So this is a quick post, but I just hung out with two friends that are such an encouragement to me in my faith. Which is exactly what I needed at this time in my life since I have been somewhat lacking desire. One girl shared with us what she had learned about how we need to stop looking so far ahead and just be glad that God has been faithful to us TODAY. Not ten years from now or even ten weeks from now, but that He has provided what we need right NOW. With that being said then we talked about the Lord leading us in our lives. My other friend heard a speaker talk about how God doesn't lead us from far off and years ahead rather He leads us from being seconds ahead in our lives. This got me thinking.

Often I think it is easy to see the Lord as such a distant person in our lives, like a long lost ancestor that we have never met, where in reality He is like our best friend. I know, I know.....Jesus is your best friend. You have probably heard it all your life. But going off earlier about Christ leading us, I thought of an analogy of being on a lake and a boat (maybe I just miss warm summer days). He drives the boat and pulls us behind on the skis (I prefer tubing), and sometimes we may fall and feel as if we are left in the dust, but He always comes back to pick us up and pull us back into the boat. Often I think I view God, and live my life for that matter, as if God has dropped me off on a beach somewhere and drove off in the boat and said, "Come and find me." This isn't how the Lord leads though, rather He calls us to have an intimate relationship with Him and pulls us along on our skis while driving the boat. I want to stop living my life worrying so much about the little things and seek what the Lord has for my life NOW. He IS faithful and HAS been faithful over the years. Where I am today is probably not where I would have guessed I would be 5 years ago, but the Lord led me to Germany and I know He will lead me through the days ahead if I trust and seek Him. So yes, this is quite random, but it got me thinking about how I truly view the Lord in my life and whether I live it out or not.

Ausgang oder Ausfahrt

1.       Last week my parents were here as I had wrote before, and it was amazing to see them. They came to Berlin on November 9^th and stayed for 4 days before they went to Italy. I showed them around Berlin and we ate some good German food. Mom isn’t the biggest history guru and Dad knows all the history since he grew up over here, so we didn’t do too much “learning” if you know what I mean.

In front of Brandenburg Gate

2.       One morning they came over to my host family for breakfast and got to see where I live. They got along really well with my family and they all spoke German to Dad, but he didn’t really speak it back because it has been so long. He is pretty rusty. I can’t imagine how frustrating that would be to be fluent in your mother tongue and understand everything but not be able to speak it because it has been so long. I would go crazy. 

3.       They came to my game on Sunday, and then that evening we just hung out and relaxed because they left for Italy the next day.  I wish I could have gone, but I had soccer practice and was already missing Thursday for Munich. It’s always so interesting when you have Americans visit. Mom kept saying, “That is weird.” about things and like I learned early being here, you don’t say things are weird you say they are different because weird has a bad connotation. It just such a different lifestyle I guess of walking everywhere and we definitely walked a lot. It’s interesting how it just is normal to me that I hop on Hercules (my bike) to get anywhere. Seriously I would be more upset if someone stole my bike than my cell phone probably.

German food and beer.

4.       Kevin made some amazing German food for my parents while they were here. They stayed at their house because they have an extra room in the basement and it was such a blessing. That way when I was at practice they had people to hang out with. Mom brought so many treats for me from the States. She made Grandma’s caramel or apples which I LOVE and also she made my favorite Christmas cookies that she bakes every year. Also she brought my birthday presents from some friends from home, which included Funfetti cake mix and Reese’s and other cool stuff. I miss both of those things a lot, along with Chipotle. One of the best parts was having my winter jacket arrive since it has been so cold here.

5.       The part I enjoyed the most of the visit was probably meeting them in Munich for three days. We went to Augsburg the first day, which was where Dad grew up before he moved to Munich. It was so surreal seeing where he grew up and it’s like you could almost see the memories flooding his mind as we walked around. It was kind of emotional because it just made me want to know my relatives more and know more about his life growing up. We saw his house, the Church he went to, his old school, the pool where his brothers and he spent a lot of time, and the Bakery they frequently visited. I wanted to knock on the door of the house and ask some questions, but we decided not to. It was funny though because we were parked right in front of it and the people living there were home and the dog kept barking. We tried to not make a scene, but I mean we were walking around with a big camera so it was hard not to. Then we couldn’t get our rental car started so I kept saying maybe this is a sign that we are supposed to knock and ask, but then we got it going.

On top of the TV Tower in Munich

6.       Speaking of car though, this is what turned out to be the biggest problem of the trip. First of all if you know Mom, she is paranoid when it comes to driving and so the Autobahn and she don’t go well. She closed her eyes the whole time in the back seat, and it just made me laugh. Dad was obsessed with the GPS and we both thought we knew best how to get places so that turned into a couple arguments, but in the end we got there. I forgot to mention that the rental car was a stick shift, and we haven’t owned a stick shift in a LONG TIME. So let’s just say it was a bit of a jerky ride at times. We went down a couple one ways and it was funny people would just stare at us, and Mom would be so embarrassed in the backseat and I would just laugh, while Dad was flustered. Good thing we had an Italian license plate so they didn’t know we were Americans, but gave us a little grace because we were tourists.

7.       I think the funniest driving experience was when we were in a parking ramp and there were two signs as we were trying to leave, one that said “Ausgang” and one that said “Ausfahrt”. I know that “Eingang” is entrance so clearly Ausgang is exit, but “Ausfahrt “ also means exit. So the first problem is that we killed the car up the hill and there was someone behind us that was honking. Next we took a left because we decided we wanted “Ausgang”, which then realized the sign was for behind us because it was a dead end so we had to turn around and the car was still upset behind us. So once we turned around and went back down we realized that “Ausgang” is an exit for only humans and really we needed to go out “Ausfahrt”, so that meant we had to turn around again. Let me remind you we are in a small ramp and at this point I think my head slammed against the headrest maybe only 8 times because the jerkiness. I mean I wouldn’t do better so I can’t complain, but Dad and I were dying laughing. Then the whole time Mom is sitting in the back saying I think we want “Aus-FART” and finally I was like Mom that is not how you say it. Maybe you had to be there, but I was hilarious and when we finally made our way to the exit, we had so many people staring at us because we killed the car to avoid hitting pedestrians, while Mom was saying “THERE IS A PERSON, BE CAREFUL.” This story may only make sense if you know our family and our personalities, but to say the least it was as if there was a circus in the car. Note to self: Use public transportation when traveling to foreign places

We were fascinated with the BIG leaves.

8.     The next day we went back to Munich and we decided to ride the trains the entire day and leave the car parked. Mom was beyond thrilled. So we went to our hotel, which we realized was NOT in the city and in the middle of nowhere. It was nice though so that was good. We had booked it a day ahead because the night before in Augsburg we had waited until we got there and we literally called twenty hotels and not one had a room available. Plus, I always snuck in because the hotel system is different here than in the states. First of all, King mattresses don’t really exist, it is either a twin or you put two twin beds together. So that is what most people sleep on. So the second night we had two twins together as one bed. And I was going to sleep on the floor until we realized that we didn’t have more blankets. Mom asked for an allergy pillow because it was offered on a sign, but clearly not many people request them because the man had NO IDEA. We got another pillow then and I was going to use towels for blankets, but in the end we decided we would all just bunk up in this big bed. It was like a slumber party when you are a child all over again. We shared two twin duvets and Mom was the lucky one who got to sleep on the crack. It was quite the trip.

9.       We walked all around Munich and went to the markets. I would love to go back there and just spend more time in the city. We saw Allianz Arena from the outside and it looked incredible. I can’t imagine how sweet it is when it is lit up. I am determined to get to a game before I leave this country. For those of you who don’t know that is the arena that Bayern Munich plays in. We also went to the Hofbrau Haus, which reminded me just like how it was at Oktoberfest. It almost feels like a cafeteria to me. It was such a fun trip to Munich though and I loved being able to get a glimpse of Dad’s life growing up.

10.   It was hard to say goodbye, because I don’t know when I will see them next. I am so blessed to have amazing parents like I do that take time to come here and visit me. I miss them so much already, but like I have said before I know this is where I am supposed to be and it means so much to just have them supporting me. I feel like I have so much to write, but this is really long, so maybe tomorrow. 

"Flugpunkt" und "Green Men"

Picture demonstrating "Flugpunkt"

Well it has been a busy week since I last blogged, but I am having trouble remembering all the things that have happened. One thing I am excited about is that I made a new friend that is going to teach me about photography. I have never had an “eye” for art to say the least, but I am going to try to learn. He travels to America quite frequently for his job and is a camera man for movies and commercials. It is crazy hearing about his job and what he does because it is a whole different world than what I use to. I realize how little I know about actors, actresses, singers, artists, etc. because I mainly just know athletes. Regardless, it has been cool learning about how movies are made and all the work that goes into it. With that being said the first tip I learned about taking photos is called the “flugpunkt” in German. I guess I didn’t learn what it was in English, but that translates to “flight point” so I am assuming that is what it is. This is the picture I took to portray what that is, and of course it was on my first try (ok, not really maybe fourth). It is on a wall for a neat café we went to and all the words are opposites. 

On Saturday, it was a fun day. First I met my friend and her boyfriend at IKEA for an early lunch, we never go to IKEA to actually buy things, usually to just eat breakfast or lunch because it is cheap and tastes good. Then the real adventure began when I met a woman from our soccer club to go to the Hertha game. I knew ahead of time that we had VIP tickets, but I guess I didn’t understand to what extent we were VIP. I felt so in over my head. We met two hours before game time to eat and have a couple drinks. First we walked in, and she explained that there were four levels of food and we could eat and drink as much as we wanted. I was like a little kid in a candy shop and was just fascinated with all that was going on around me. I went to the bathroom, and some woman opened the door for me and ripped my paper towels for me. I felt inept to a certain extent. I almost wanted to ask her if she could wipe for me too.

Dog parking space at IKEA. Yikes.

After a while, we were standing there at our table and the woman had left to bring drinks to her brother outside, so I looked like the awkward loner. I mean whatever though, just stood there and people watched, until out of the corner of my eye I say this guy coming towards me. I was hoping that he wasn’t going to talk to me, because since I have lived in Germany I always just try to mind my own business and not let anyone know that I don’t know German. It is weird because I do understand a lot of German, but for some reason when strangers talk to me it is like I go blank and freeze. I usually assume people aren’t speaking to me; so many times they have to repeat themselves and come directly in front of me. Regardless, this guy came up to me and he had 7 other guys that were at a table behind him, and he asked in English if he could take a photo with me. First of all, I was like, “Do I look that American?”, because I even looked kind of Euro and wasn’t wearing a T-shirt, or sweats or having a fashion emergency according to Europeans. Then I froze and didn’t know what to say and had a panic attack and said, “Um, why?” and he proceeded to ramble on with some reason, in which I said fine because I didn’t know what else to do and I just didn’t want to make a scene, which it was too late. By this time the tables around us were all staring at us and his friend was coming over to take a picture. So I smiled trying to make it as fast as possible, until I see a red light on the back of the guys phone and he is videoing us, and then I realize the guy in the picture is making a kissing face towards me and too close for comfort. I didn’t know which one to stop first, so I started shouting to the guy that he was recording, while the guy next to me is saying, “Please just give me one kiss.” So I am pushing him away and telling him no, turning bright red from embarrassment, and trying to get this guy to hurry up, while all their friends are laughing and somewhat wondering if they should stop it. Needless to say, it was a disaster. Finally the guy was finished taking a “picture” and the other guy stayed and chatted. He was going on about how they were from Iceland and was here for the weekend and just wanted to have fun. I proceeded to tell him that it was sketchy what just happened but finally, I was saved when the woman I was with came back. Now I know next time to be direct and say no from the beginning and to not panic in those situations.

So we watched the game, and after we sat around and ate more food and had a couple drinks with two of the other women from my club. Right when we were going to leave, I had quick gone to the bathroom and I thought they knew, but I guess not because they left without me. So now I am in this big building and have no idea how to get out. A couple of the players had come out and so I decided to go in the elevator, but then realized I didn’t know what floor to get off on because I hadn’t paid attention when we came in. I guessed and ended up getting out on a floor with a bunch of people in suits who all stared at me like what are you doing here. I quickly pushed the button and got back on, and tried to act like I knew where I was going, but had NO IDEA. Finally, I made my way out and was thankful that most the people from the game had probably already gotten on the trains and so it wouldn’t be as crazy. You think you have seen crazy fans in the States, wait until you go to a soccer game with 60,000 people in Europe and these people are die-hard fans. And I was so wrong about missing the crowd. I got to the train stop and was pretty sure I was in the right place, until I saw literally over 40 policemen. Scary looking too, because they wear these green suits with helmets and body suits and have zero emotion. They were blocking the stairs to get to the train, so my first thought was that something really bad had happened. The fans were shouting and singing and going nuts, and I didn’t know whether to turn around (but I knew this was where I had to be), attempt to ask an emotionless “green man” in German what was happening, or just play it cool and wait it out. I went for the play it cool and wait it out option. A couple randos started to talk to me and I just pretended I wasn’t being spoken to. As if there wasn’t enough noise with the screaming, chanting, and singing drunken people; the police dogs were right by me and barking like crazy. If they didn’t have a muzzle on I think they would have bitten my legs right off. I didn’t know whether to laugh at this sight, or be scared. It was one of those times you wish someone was with you to laugh. So below are a video of the barricaded area and a picture of the police lined up before the train came. It was quite humorous. I was graced with chanting and pounding on the train walls the whole way home.  Lucky me. This is long, so the end.

The Emotionless "Green Men"

Albertine

Food for thought, is that how that saying goes? Well that is exactly what this is and these are some of the things I have been wrestling with and thinking about. Lately I have had times or days where I just miss certain people or even at times one specific person. You know when you miss someone and you literally can feel your heart aching. That to me is one of the worst feelings, because you feel so helpless. On top of that there are times where I have just felt burdened for people that don't know Jesus or for the Ragamuffins in this world. I long to just serve and help, but at times I feel like such a small fish in a huge ocean, trying to survive and make a difference. Not that fish make a difference except for being part of the food chain I guess. Regardless, I have listened to the song "Albertine" by Brooke Fraser on repeat lately. She wrote it after she went to Rwanda and met an orphan named Albertine. It is an old song, but the verse says:

"Now that I have seen, I am responsible

Faith without deeds is dead

Now that I have held you in my own arms, I cannot let go till you are"

I LOVE this line. It is so powerful. Now that I have been volunteering with the women on the streets, I feel similar to this. I feel that I have a responsibility to help "rescue" these women. This has always been one of my passions. With that being said, going back to feeling burdened; it can be tough and my heart often breaks. But the other day I was having a quiet time and I read in Matthew 9:27 Jesus says, "Do you believe that I can do this?", which was interesting because my director had asked me that the day before regarding a specific person. I think often we say yes to this question, but we truly don't believe it. I want to believe that the Lord can truly change the darkest of places to see Light and that the person furthest away from knowing Him can fall crazy in love with Jesus. I struggle with remembering that God doesn't NEED us. We are an extra in His movie and just being used as tools on this Earth to further His Kingdom. On the flip side, I caught myself thinking, "Elizabeth, how prideful are you, that you think God NEEDS you to accomplish His work?" In Matthew 28:17-18, it says, "All authority in heaven and on Earth has been given to me....." That is crazy to think about, ALL AUTHORITY, not most, or some or a little, no ALL! Every tree bows down to worship our Lord. He is limitless and I want to truly believe this and know that it is true. Prayer is incredible and I am really trying to work on my prayer life. I have found that there is something so powerful about praying aloud.

With all that being said, the days when I am burdened or homesick I try to remember that this Earth is not my home. It is easy to wish that you were somewhere else or think that the grass is greener on the other side. But in all reality, no matter where we are there will and should be discomfort because this is not our home. We are living for an eternal purpose and often I have to remind myself that when I think about little things like not being able to spend time with my family, or watch Anna's soccer games, or just see people I love in general. Life is about seeking God's purpose for our life and we are called to something greater. We need to choose to seek Him to find out what that is. In Luke 9:58-59, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." We will always feel restless and feel that there is more to this life, because there is. Even though it is hard at times and we are wishing, missing, burdened or homesick, in the end we can be comforted in knowing that this isn't where we should lay our head and it is not our home. Heaven is home.

Bitte Hören Sie. Sehr gut!

One of my friends sent me this sermon and it is really good, so I wanted to share it with people. It is worth listening to and definitely inspirational in your faith. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

http://www.iamaxis.org/potential-josh-riebock/

"COME BACK PACKERS"

So here is the update. I feel like there is a lot to say somewhat, but it is all random things. And I decided I would explain through photos somewhat. First of all, dating back to last week, I saw the infamous pirate again. So I decided to take a picture. Then that same day I saw this woman with the MOST hair I have ever seen on someones head. Like legit, curls galore in a straight poof ball a foot around her entire head. It was crazy.  My friend said she is known in Berlin as "The Hair Lady". Didn't get a picture of her though, but hopefully next time.

Kind of hard to see, but here is the pirate.

On Thursday night, I hung out with a friend who is teaching me German and he is a great teacher. He won't even explain things in English to me, he refuses and makes me speak German. Which is good, but it makes me go crazy. I need someone like that though to force me to speak German and slow down my brain. We went to his friend's house for dinner and they had an Etch-A-Sketch. When is the last time you played with one of those? It was so cool. I never realized how hard it can be. Not sure how I even enjoyed it when I was a child, but I guess I did.

This weekend was pretty busy. On Saturday, I went to Kevin's house and we ate American pancakes with maple syrup. It was a treat that's for sure. They were awesome. Then his 6 year old daughter Emily and I had a girl date to the mall to get headbands for her. It was fun. I realize how much I love kids and miss being around them. When I go to training, before we train there are little girls training and they are all in their sweatsuits that are the same as ours and it is so adorable. I really miss coaching.


On Sunday, we had a home game we won 3-1, which was exciting. We needed a good win and after our game my friend that played basketball at Drake, was here in Berlin playing against Berlin's professional basketball game. He got me two tickets, so I asked one of my teammates to come with me, but we were really late because of our game. And let me tell you we were even more late because the tickets were a disaster. We literally ran around the entire massive building because each person sent us to the next door saying they had the "Player List". Finally we were told where they were and when we got there they proceeded to tell us that they gave our tickets away and we were too late. I mean yeah it was halftime, but who gives away reserved tickets? At this point we are frustrated and standing in some workers entrance where we had already been. Everyone claimed there was no list or it was gone, which it is not like this thing grows legs and walks away. I mean it is a professional game, like thousands of people go and there are always player pass lists. Regardless, all hope was pretty much lost because we were not about to pay 16 Euros for one and a half quarters so we asked if we could get a discount. My teammate was talking in German to this random new woman that came up and she explained the situation to her. This helpful woman ended up calling someone and saying that I was a player's girlfriend from the other team and needed to get in (Which we never said gf, we said friend but it helped so whatever I guess). So this high up event manager woman came and walked us through all these secret passages and into a premium lounge area. It was sweet. After the game there was this buffet that all the Alba players come and eat at, but we figured we would be pushing our luck trying to sneak in there. So we just waited and then went back to their hotel and hung out with the players. It was refreshing and definitely nice to see a familiar face. It is crazy they can have five Americans on their basketball teams and their coaches speak English to them.

Today, I had good ole' German tutor class and then hung out with a girl from my German class. She is actually from Wisconsin and it was so funny because we were sitting in this cafe and I saw a sign twenty feet away outside that said, "COME BACK PACKERS." But it was written in yellow and green and knowing that the Vikings and Packers played last night we thought maybe it was something about that. Like the Packers are gonna make a good run this season. So my friend ran outside and looked and said there was a website that I should look at comebackpackers.com to see what the party or whatever was about. So I looked on my phone and started laughing because we realized it was a sketchy hostel sign saying "Come Backpackers!" We felt pretty dumb. Similar to last week when my teammate wrote that they were going to a Sysha bar for her birthday and we were all invited. All week I thought we were going to a sushi bar, when in all reality it was a hooka bar. Oh the time when I just assume. Makes for a good laugh that's for sure.

My family comes two weeks from Wednesday. Can't wait!!!!!

Oktoberfest. Geburtstag. Herbst.

Well it has been awhile since I blogged, but I have been quite busy. I have really enjoyed number form when blogging so today that is what I will do.

1. It is officially fall and it is getting cold. I am starting to wear scarves and lots of layers, which I definitely like. Fall makes me miss Minnesota though, I think partly because it just reminds me of all the "fally" things that are there. Like college football season, pumpkins, leaves, etc. Christmas stuff has already started coming out here since obviously Thanksgiving isn't celebrated. I couldn't believe it, I was like already Christmas. That is two months away.

2. Last Friday, my team and I loaded up on a coach bus and went to Oktoberfest at Diedersdorf Schloss (castle). I didn't really know what to expect, but it was interesting showing up to the bus and seeing everyone in normal clothes when usually all we wear is soccer gear around each other. We got there at about 18:00 and planned on leaving around 23:30. When we should up there was this HUGE tent. Like I didn't even know that tents were made that were this big. And we walked in and there were tons of table and already quite a few people there. There was a large stage with a German band playing obviously German music. We had tables reserved for our team. At first I was a little hesitant, and was like oh man this could be a long night of just sitting staring at each other while drinking beer, but boy was I wrong. We ended up dancing to German music all night and seriously it was so much fun. It was fun hanging out with the girls outside of soccer. It was crazy they knew all the songs and I just pretended to kind of know some, but whenever an English one came on I was like, booyah! Regardless to say it was a blast and it was fun to experience the German culture in a new way. I mean not many Americans can say they got to go to Oktoberfest in Germany.

Team at Oktoberfest

3. Saturday night, I met up with my friend Elaine and we went to this bar/cafe to listen to different acoustic artists. I didn't think it would be that cool at first, but it ended up being sweet. This one girl was "looping" and it was so neat to see it live. I mean tons of artists do that for their music, but to watch her perform it live was really cool. I realize that I don't have much knowledge of music and I have learned a lot because Elaine is really into music and her friends are big time DJ's. I guess one opened for Radiohead in New York and so she was trying to explain how the whole industry works, I still think I have a lot to learn though. Like they say, you usually are gifted with athletics or music, and not usually both. God didn't give a musical bone to anyone in our family. If we sang a chorus together, we would sound like dying cows, not to mention my dad doesn't sing because he claims "Germans don't sing". Which has been proven inaccurate since living here. Good cover up Dad.    Regardless to say it was really cool to listen to her and I have a video of it below.

4. On Sunday, we had a game and we lost in the last three minutes to Herforder, which was a bummer. So not much to say about that except it was heartbreaking. Then family dinner in the afternoon. We try to eat as a family at least once every weekend, but it can be tough with all our different schedules and since we travel for soccer a lot. My brother just got back today from London and my sister has been gone this week at a church retreat, so it's been me and the rents, who actually left yesterday for holiday. I have been the constant holding down the fort.

5. So lately I have had this huge craving for anything pumpkin flavored. But you can't buy pumpkin puree here, so it makes it hard to bake anything with pumpkin in it. I was telling one of the Crusade staff women this and she said she loved pumpkin too so we decided to have a baking day. We made this recipe that I found a while ago called Pumpkin Spice Whoopie Pies. Seriously they were amazing. I had so much baking because she reminded me of my mom and was so hospitable and said they will have a big thanksgiving that I can come to, etc. It felt like home though and she was telling me all the tricks of how to cook in a foreign country. With the leftover homemade pumpkin puree she made soup which was awesome. I was a little hesitant at first, but it was sooo good. Anyways, for the Whoopie Pies you just make pumpkin cookies and then cinnamon cream cheese frosting and put it in between two cookies. Sounds easy, but when you have to make homemade puree, and homemade pumpkin spice, it takes a little more time. Regardless, it makes me wish I could have baked with my mom more when I lived at home. It is pretty fun. I was telling the woman that I usually guestimate when I bake and that lately my things just don't look right and she goes, "Usually when you are a beginner cook you should measure." It just takes so much time though. Plus everything is in grams here, so you have to convert the American cups to grams, etc. ANNOYING! America needs to jump on the band wagon and not have everything in their own conversions.

6. Well as many of you know, it was my birthday on Tuesday. I turned a whopping 24 years old. Birthdays are kind of a big deal in Germany, and everyone has asked me what I am doing, but I always just said I didn't know and it's just another year. Jayna, you would love having your birthday over here. Anyways, my parents had a birthday breakfast for me. So at 9:30 we all sat down and my host mom had made a cake and they lit a candle. Cake for breakfast isn't that abnormal here. It was cute how they set it up. So for an hour and a half we just talked and hung out. Then I opened my present from them, which was AWESOME! Seriously it was one of my favorite presents ever. I got a Bible that is German and English. So on each page there is a column in German and one in English. I have actually been looking for one for a little while now. Then I met up with my friend Jessica for lunch and hung out/walked around. It was fun. At night, I had training from 20-21:30, but we had a meeting before training. One of the women that works with our team had text me and told me she was bringing a cake for me. So she showed up and 8 and was getting the cake ready, but she had thought we had already practiced and our coach was like, "No we can't eat cake right now. We have training." It was an awkward exchange. My team got me a German Cd with all the top German hits and a German book that is like "dumb" German. And a shirt. It was cute. After training we had cake, and she bought us boulette and tea. She also got me a book, but it was in English. I guess everyone knows I like to read. Overall, the birthday was good and I felt pretty special considering I was in a foreign country without my family and closest friends. 

7. I am starting to realize that my biking days may have to come to an end eventually in the winter. Which will be a sad day. I don't like walking alone in the dark so I think I might be the girl that is running with her backpack on. Also I never had thought about the whole bike lock scenario when it gets cold. Elaine informed me that it sometimes freezes when it is really cold. Could be a problem. I might need to get some of that unfreezing stuff. 

8. This weekend we go to Gütersloh for a game on Sunday. So we will have ten hours in the bus. Which means lots of solid reading time. I have started reading fiction books and they rock. Ted Dekker is a really good author. 

9. My German is coming along. I still sometimes definitely say the wrong words. Like the other day I was SMSing the girl I meet with every week and I was telling her I was excited to hang out on Friday in German, but I guess I told her that I have a great idea because she responded saying what is your great idea. Just little things like that. I think my biggest problem is that I know a lot of German words and so I put them into my English sentences, but you can't do that because the order of sentences in German and in English are completely different so it doesn't work so well. 

Elf

11 random things in life

Don't they look great. I'll take a picture of mine.

1. I watched a woman clean a bench that I was sitting on for literally five minutes. I wanted to offer her to sit on my jacket because of the labor it took, but then I figured she would probably want to run that through the washing machine first.
2. So, as many of you probably won’t believe I am very into cooking/baking these days.  This morning I made cottage cheese oatmeal banana pancakes. They are healthy and have lots of protein in them. Seriously so good, you should try them. Okay the first two I made were not really pancakes, more a pile of the ingredients, but at least it didn’t matter that they were raw because you can eat all those ingredients plain. How do you people make pancakes not burn on the outside, but cook all the way through? It’s tough. My last one was perfect though. I needed to turn the heat down and let them cook longer. Who would have thought? 
3. I am going to attempt birthday cake blondies this week for Lisa’s birthday and I baked some Oatmeal Chocolate bars for my brothers friend who I promised I would make a batch for and they didn’t really turn out. I mean they tasted well, and I figured it wouldn’t be a big deal to substitute light butter for real butter and vanilla sauce for caramel. My mom informed me that it makes a big deal though to use light butter. So long for being healthy. 
4. I have been volunteering on Wednesdays with a Christian nonprofit called Alabaster Jar. We work with women on the streets involved in prostitution and just go out and give them coffee and tea and talk to them about Jesus or ask to pray with them, etc. There also is a Café that is on the main street, which we open from 9-11:00 at night for them women to come in and make jewelry, eat, drink, and just hang out. It has been such a blessing being a part of this organization and I have such a heart for these women. It has been incredible watching God work and just how huge prayer is because it is a spiritual warfare on the streets. God is doing big things and I have a passion for this kind of ministry, so I am glad I am getting to be a part of it. There are 500-600 brothels in Berlin alone and at least 6,000 women registered as prostitutes. Many of which are trafficked from nearby countries. Organizations like these though can make a difference and can help rescue these women from this lifestyle.
5. My parents come in like six weeks to visit. I am really excited and Michael booked his ticket to come here. We are travelling around Europe and staying with different people we know around Christmas time. I am SO excited for visitors.
6. Next Friday, my team is going to Oktoberfest here in Berlin as a team so that should be fun to spend time outside of soccer together.
7.  I have a new friend named Jessica that is an answer to prayer. She is from America and she is a Christian that plays basketball in Berlin. We got connected kinda through the grapevine, but it has been neat to hang out and get to know each other. We went to church last Saturday together and just did life, which was refreshing. She is definitely an encouragement to me and understands sports, so it has been nice to talk to her.
8.  I have been reading Don’t Waste Your Life, by John Piper. It is such a great book and definitely puts things in perspective of what we are living for. One thing he recently wrote that got me to thinking was how often in life we say, “What’s wrong with this show? Or what is wrong with wearing or doing this?”, when really we should be asking, “How is this going to bring me closer to the Lord? Or how will this help me display who Christ is?” I realize how often I can justify things in life and really we should be always trying to be a light of who Christ is. Just been wrestling with what it looks like to be radical in my faith and not waste my life.
9. I have been craving pumpkin flavored things lately. Like for some reason I just want to bake lots of pumpkin things. The only problem is you can’t buy pumpkin puree in Germany so you have to make it homemade and that just seems like so much work. I think I will eventually.
10. Another thing that I have been thinking about is how often people tell little lies in life. Like they tell people they miss them or they are praying for them. When in all reality you aren’t praying for them and really you don’t miss them. Lately I have been really trying to only say things that I really mean in life. I mean why do we feel the need to say we miss people when we don’t? Or pray when we have no intention of praying? So now you know if I tell you I miss you or I am praying for you, I actually am or do. I usually pray right there in the moment. I want to be a person of integrity and I want to be real. I don’t want to say things I don’t mean. So often we can talk the talk, but we don’t walk the walk.
11. As much as fall means that winter is to follow, I am enjoying the cardigan, scarf, vest, sweatshirt weather. But what I do not enjoy is the being cold on the way to the train and then sweating profusely when I am there. So what’s worse? Being cold with not much clothing on outside, or being extremely hot once you arrive somewhere? I think I choose being cold outside. Nobody wants to be that stinky kid coming in from playing outside.

Viel leute

It’s interesting; in the last week or so I have been doing a lot of thinking about life in general. I can’t explain it, but God has definitely been working in my life and has brought me to an interesting place. For so long I have been a fighter in life in everything I do. When I want to accomplish something, I will do whatever I have to do to get there or reach my goal. Which most people would say is a good quality to have, which I agree to a certain extent, but because of that when it comes to my walk with the Lord often I try to do so much. I often struggle with viewing it as a race with a finish line that is moving and because of this it drives me crazy since I am goal oriented. Lately I have really been focusing on trying to seek FIRST the Lord, rather than all the other things in life that so easily distract me. As many of you know, I love people. I love talking to people, being around people, meeting people, serving people, and just anything that involves interacting with people. The amount of people I interact with in Germany is a lot less than in America obviously because of language barriers, having fewer friends and as mentioned in earlier posts, talking to strangers isn’t the most popular thing to do. It has been lonely at times and often I miss talking and processing with people. Have you ever had the feeling of being surrounded by so many people, but still feeling so alone? Or picking up your phone because you want to talk/process with someone, but you look through your phone book and then just putting your phone back down?

I tell you this because I have experienced all these things being in Germany. But in the last couple weeks I am starting to see some of the things that God has been working with me on and one of those is being less of a fighter to a certain extent. Instead of always “trying” to do more, I have focused on just being. When I say that I mean instead of fighting to run this race, rather just sit in the Lord’s presence and surrender. I have noticed this with many relationships in my life that I have fought for for so long, but I finally have come to the point where I just don’t want to fight. And it isn’t a throwing in the towel kind of thing; it is more just looking at it from a different perspective. You can’t make someone care, and you can’t make someone want to be in your life, so why not cherish the relationships that are in your life that can be a blessing, rather than trying so hard to fight for the ones that God may be telling you to let walk away. People come in and out of your life for different reasons and different seasons, and there isn’t anything wrong with it. I struggle with this because I love keeping in touch with people and I love people in general, but the Lord is teaching me to just “be” rather than “try” so hard to fight for so many things/people that maybe God is calling me to let go of in one way or another. Maybe you can relate to this, I guess it has been a freeing process and let me tell you it is only the beginning, but I can see God working.

Es ist egal.

I feel like every blog I right starts out with the same thing and that is well, where do I begin. I guess I just never know what to say to now make a post awkward and let's be real we all know writing isn't my strong suit. Especially on a blog. This last weekend we traveled as a team to Gütersloh for our second round Pokal game. The Pokal tournament lasts from August to May and it is to find the best team in all of Germany among both first and second Bundesliga, but obviously it is the first teams that win. We were playing to make it to the final 16 teams, and we played against Gütersloh, who is in our league. It was about a five hour bus ride, which I forgot how much I do not fitting my tall self into those bus seats, but regardless it wasn't too bad. We trained when we arrived on Saturday after checking into our hotel and then ate a "healthy" pregame meal, which was not healthy in the slightest bit. Schnitzel, French fries, salad, and then birthday cake. Nothing like getting ready for the big game.    The team had a dance party and I watched Roger Federer lose (what a pity). I was bummed. Our game was at 11:00 in the morning and we ended up losing 4-2. Towards the end of the game there was a fiasco because I went up to head the ball and didn't see one of my teammates so I kneed (not sure if that's how you spell that) in the leg and we were both laid there for a second and then our physio came on to help her. At this point in the game it was a corner kick, so we were on the field and the ref came up and told me I had to leave the field (in German obviously). Which I didn't really understand, but supposedly we both needed to because when the physio comes and gives medical attention, then you have to exit.

Well this sent everyone into rage because I didn't get medical attention so I shouldn't have had to leave. At this point the game is 3-2. I have no idea whether what is going on, but I leave the field and then one they take the corner my coach says, "Jetzt!" which means now, so I go running on the field and so does the other girl. Only for the referee to blow her whistle and greet us both with yellow cards, which was bad because the other girl already had a yellow so that meant a red. All in all I stood there dumbfounded because I couldn't argue the situation in English, and nobody was giving me directions. One of those moments it would help if you knew the language fluently. Today, I had another moment, but actually maybe it was just a dumb moment rather than not knowing the language. I was going to practice and a woman that is one of our managers put up her hand and said "fünf" like three times. So that being said you always greet the coaches, so I assumed she was asking for a high five since "fünf" is five, but in all reality she was telling me that we were in locker room five. So she got the high five that I thought she was asking for and just kind of looked at me funny. Then I put it together and realized she clearly wasn't asking for a high five.

I have been thinking a lot lately. Which I do a lot I guess. But I have been thinking about my future and what God has for me. It's like I wonder where the line of planning and trusting God is? Because often you have to plan, for example taking the GRE if you want to go to grad school. But I guess in all reality the Lord will close the door in one way or another. Sometimes I struggle with knowing exactly where I am supposed to be. And there are so many things that I want to do in life, but where do I start, because what if God doesn't have that plan. I understand to pray about it, but if only it was that easy. So today I made a list of possibilities. Tomorrow I will possibly write some pros and cons and pray over them. Not possibly pray, but possibly pros and cons. Regardless, I wish I could just get a message in a bottle. Or in a fortune cookie. I realize I like answers in life, but at the same time I love the mystery of the unknown. People always ask, if you could flash your future spouse on a TV screen right now, would you? I always answer no way, that is so boring. Because like we learned in the "Importance of Being Ernest", "The essence of romance is uncertainty." Good ole' high school English class. Those were the days. Roman noses. Unimportant details on quizzes. Plans to go on a "tangent". Well now I am just rambling, I'll let you know if I get a letter in the mail from God about my future.

Der Schrank ist offen.

Well it has been awhile since I blogged. I guess for a number of different reasons, but I figured today I have a little time so I will. Where to begin? Last time I wrote I just talked about how flying isn’t fun at all. I have been back in Germany for about two weeks now, and it has been great to get back into a routine, but it has been interesting. Honestly, I thought it would be a lot harder coming back than it has been. Partly I think I was just so overly tired that I was too tired to think about being sad, etc. But also I think going home gave me a greater sense of peace knowing that Berlin is where I am supposed to be.

Miss them so much. And Dad too.

This last week has been probably one of the toughest times since I have been here. I am not sure exactly why, but I think I just have felt like more pieces of the onion are being peeled back and because of that I feel exposed and at a place of brokenness. There have been a couple nights where I sit in my room and feel so alone, but there is nothing about me that wants to pick up my phone and text someone or even Skype someone. Where as in most cases I would do that, but the Lord is starting to bring me to this place of just seeking Him rather than busying myself with other things/people or even seeking affirmation from others. I think one of the things I have struggled with most is just feeling understood and here that lacks because you aren’t the same person since you can’t communicate the way you normally would. I think of my team and they probably think I am so shy and quiet because I am an observer. But then it is like when I talk to people from home, etc. I feel misunderstood because you can’t accurately explain how life is over here. That would mean explaining the culture, people; etc., which isn’t the easiest thing to do. Therefore, I guess I just have started to take a step back and just process my emotions with the Lord and wrestle through them.

On Tuesday, we had a team (AIA) meeting and Lisa shared an article with us that I found so true. It was called, “Leave the Cupboard Doors Open”. First of all I could relate because it started out talking about how open cupboards drive her nuts and as many know that is one of my biggest pet peeves is when cupboards are left open or shower curtains. Many times I ask people, how hard is it to shut a drawer or cupboard when you are done using it, but the harder question to ask is, “Why is it harder to leave them open with the mess exposed?” I think of when I lived at home, first thing I did every morning when I would wake up was walk upstairs and first shut the shower curtain after my dad and then shut Heidi’s door to her room to hide the pigsty that always existed. There is something about when we close the door we can pretend it doesn’t exist. This seems irrelevant to life, but in the article it goes on about spiritually how often we want to close the cupboards and find a solution to a problem or difficult time rather than just being okay with the open ended ness to a hard time. We quickly try to find a way to shut the cupboards, which so often can be more detrimental than the problem itself because many times God is using those moments to work in our lives. Then she made a great point that I never realized before and that was often when we go through a hard time whether that is a huge change in life or something as serious as a death in our family, there is always tons of support right in the beginning. Everyone wants to encourage and support you, but then as time goes on the support wears off and when you are struggling and want to talk about it, many people tell you to get over it or move on because it has been so long. They feel that the cupboard doors need to be shut and the mess needs to be hidden. That you should have gotten it together a long time ago, or that maybe you caused the problem yourself. When in reality God is working more than ever through this long, drawn out process and amidst the prayers and searching times don’t become instantly better. She goes on to write that closure is overrated and trying harder to look for an outcome will not make it easier, but rather embrace the open cupboard, deal with the mess, search through it and watch God work in midst of it. It was interesting because I had just been studying this scripture recently, which is Lamentations 3:1-24 and especially Lamentations 3:22-23, which says, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” I love these verses. They have been such a comfort to me throughout the last week.

So if you are reading this, I guess my challenge is to ask yourself what are those cupboard doors in your life that you are trying to rush and close? Maybe the Lord is keeping them open for a reason and don’t let people around you pressure you to overcome the hard time or find a quick solution, rather seek the Lord and watch Him work in your life in ways that He has never done before. It is hard and messy, and trust me I don’t like doing it, but I think in the end it will be that much sweeter.

On a lighter note, I saw the pirate again the other day walking near my house. I was so close to asking him for a photo, but I didn’t know if he would be offended. Maybe next time. It is starting to feel like fall here, which I guess it never felt completely like summer, but it makes sleeping nice. Below is a picture of something I really want to do in Germany. I saw it on a friend’s wall and I am determined to do it sometime in Hamburg.

Walk Water Balls

Lieber später als gar nicht.

Kristen, Rachel and I
 (note: 32 hours of no sleep = extreme bags under eyes)

I forget how much flying sucks. Seriously, I can’t remember the last time that I have ever arrived somewhere on time and with no problems. There is always some kind of problem. As of last Tuesday, well it was supposed to be Monday; I flew back to Minnesota as some of you know. My flight to London was quite the disaster to begin with when I took a short snooze before takeoff, only to realize that when I woke up we still hadn’t moved because our flight was delayed an hour. Awesome. Kristen and Rachel were meeting me in Chicago for my four hour layover, so that cut a big chunk of time out. Then on the flight, I was surrounded by all these long haired men that I think drank about 10 mini bottles of wine. One that was two seats away got drunk and was snoring like a moose and the guy behind me had his foot on my armrest. As you know I hate feet. I almost vomited. And the girl next to me had horrible breath. She told me she was running late, must mean she skipped the toothbrush. Never good. The flight seemed like an eternity though and I couldn’t sleep for the life of me. I literally just watched the time tick. I wrote ten pages in my journal, practiced my German and played every game on my IPod. I had a window seat, which is good for leaning your head against, but the problem was I couldn’t sleep. Instead I had to pee and the window seat is not conducive to that when the people next to you are sleeping. Regardless finally we arrive an hour late, but then I had to go through customs. Which to my luck I went in the visitors line instead of the US citizens line. I contemplated showing my German passport, but I figured that it might take longer.

After I got through customs, I got to see Kristen and Rachel! It was awesome getting to see them, but since there weren’t any restaurants outside the security checkpoints, we decided to just sit outside and eat German chocolate. After a couple hours, I decided I should probably get going and go through security. I said my goodbyes and made my way to my gate. Only to find out that my flight was delayed until midnight instead of 10:30 pm. So annoying, which meant I wouldn’t get in until like 1:30am. I had my American cell phone on, so I called my ride and made them aware of the bad news. Then I went and found some food since the whole day I had been eating the chocolate that I had brought for gifts because that is all I had and at the airports I didn’t have any of the correct currencies. What I found was a 5 dollar bag of spicy Chex mix or something or other, which was a generic brand and clearly you should never get generic brand because it was horrible. Instead I ate more chocolate. So then comes the worst part of the night. I was talking on the phone at the top of the stairs of my gate. My flight was now pushed back to 12:30 because the airplane wasn’t going to arrive on time. I figured we were boarding at 12:30 for some reason and I was chatting away, checking the gate randomly, and watching for people to come up the stairs off the plane since I could see it from where I was. At 12:31am, I go downstairs and there is nobody there. They had boarded so I ask one man what’s going on and he says the gate had closed early. It was the last one of the night and he told me the first flight out was at 7:30am, but it was full so I could be standby. He said I could get on the 9am one. At this point I have been awake for 32 hours and it took every bit of strength to not start crying and screaming at this man. After a lost battle of begging him to open the gate since the plane was still there, I decided to go find some internet to pass time. This was great until my computer, phone, and iPod all died. I decided to try to sleep a bit, which was hopeless because I was freezing and all I had to cover up was a thin scarf. I am not use to the air conditioning and so my nose started running, etc. All in all it was a nightmare. The second good thing that happened besides seeing Kristen, Kath, and Rachel, was that there was one spot left on the 7am flight and so after being awake for 38 hours, I finally made it home. Memo to self, never leave your gate.

Spielen, Essen, Schlafen....

I am too lazy to write in paragraph form therefore I am going to use the alphabet.

A.      My life has been busy; last week was training camp for my soccer team. We went away for five days to a facility especially for training camps, which was an hour east of Berlin. We had three a days and on Monday we had a game against a Polish team. They were fast. At camp, I think for the first time I got to show a glimpse of my personality to the girls and started to come out of my shell a little more on and off the field. Pretty much our lives consisted of spielen, essen, und schlafen, which is playing, eating and sleeping. The facility was neat though, the German National handball team was there and so was the national volleyball and canoe team. Who knew there are National canoe teams? I really enjoy the women on my team though and it was great being able to spend time together outside of practice. We played the German version of Cranium and let’s just say that one girl shouted, “We should go first because we have the auslander (foreigner).” I counted myself as a half a person. I only did the ones that were drawing and let’s be real, I wasn’t good at that either. First of all, I asked if I was supposed to shut my eyes and they thought I was crazy, because in Cranium you do, so it seemed like a valid question. For one of my turns I was supposed to draw a word that meant fog in front of car headlights. I don’t even know how I would draw that in English even though you aren’t using words. How do you draw fog? I went with the bonfire smoke idea. Clearly didn’t work. We did win though. I mean I would guess, but my guesses were like Level 1 German words like to eat. And clearly that’s not in a game for adults. It was fun though.  The food was so good there, we had a buffet every meal and literally even though we were training three times a day I think we ate enough to break even in calories. They fed us well to say the least. We got to play beach volleyball for the first half hour of one practice, which was fun. It is so funny how going into things I never really know what to expect. Like packing for camp, I knew I just needed all my Hertha gear and then other sports clothes, but not nice clothes. Thank goodness. I show up to leave though and everyone is matching but me. Awesome. So I put on our matching travel jacket at least to make it look like a sad attempt to match. What I didn’t realize was that I needed no other clothes and literally we woke up every morning and put on our polos (Yes, you read correctly. Polos.) and warm up suits to go to breakfast. Then we changed in and out of our practice gear throughout the day only to always end my day in my lovely blue polo. I have two actually and when packing, I decided to only bring one because I was like it’s not like we will wear these during the week. Well, I should have known that is all we would wear. Training camp was overall really good though and I definitely enjoyed the time with the team and getting to know the girls.

B.      The next question of this blog is do foxes attack? So I was at camp and I was talking to my mom through Skype and I was walking by myself on the long path to where we slept  and I saw a fox. I just first stopped at stared at it hoping that it would think I was a tree. It definitely didn’t, it just started creeping towards me and I totally thought that they were scared of people, but then I thought that maybe I was mixing it up with another animal like a deer. So I decided I needed to run just in case, not to mention I have my big soccer bag. Wearing my polo. It still kind of kept running towards me so I ran to a bench and jumped on it. Thinking that I guess it couldn’t get me there even though they for sure can jump. It just stared for a while and then became disinterested. I know not much for a climax, you probably thought it was gonna bite me or something. Well it didn’t. I am glad no Germans saw me standing on a bench in my polo scared of a fox.

C.      Today, we had a game against Jena. They are in the first league. We lost 2-1. I couldn’t play because I am hurt. I am back in the good ole’ boot until Thursday. Regardless, that’s not the moral of the story. I was sitting on the bench during the game and it is interesting we play teams at neutral sites, but yet we have all these random fans there. It is like we have more fans there than I ever did at a college soccer game including all our parents. All of sudden like ten minutes before half time all these cowboys and women with huge, poufy skirts show up. They are dressed like they are from the time when that was popular, which I don’t even know. They were carrying in speakers and I was like oh yikes, maybe these people have a show going on here today or something. Nope, I was wrong. Tends to be the case these days. They were our halftime show. Sure enough, they set up their speakers and at half time (Lucky me, I got to stay and watch.) they fancied their way onto the field and turned on their hoedown  country music and started line/square/two stepping dancing or whatever you want to call it. I leaned over to my teammate and asked, “Is this normal?” but don’t worry she was just as surprised. I was hoping they could at least play some good country music, I mean country is nonexistent over here or so I thought. Just another day living in Germany. Love it.

D.      Exactly a week from tomorrow I will be on an airplane back to the US for my best friend’s wedding. I am really excited, but nervous at the same time. I think I might have culture shock and it will be interesting from going to being alone a lot and traveling alone to always being around people that I know and driving a car. I am so excited to see my family though and very excited for the wedding and all the festivities. A little nervous for the public speaking, as many of you know it is not exactly my favorite thing to do or one of my talents. But it will all work out in the end. So if you could pray for safe travels that would be great.  Chipotle here I come!!

Leben



Three weeks from today I get to see them! :)

If you don’t know me that well then this post you may not follow or care to follow for that matter, but that is okay. I tend to just inform people of the events of my life and then say that I will tell you what I am feeling or thinking in the next post, but never get to it. So here it goes. LIFE. Sometimes I wonder what happened to sitting on letter “Q” in Kindergarten and not having a worry in the world. Or often I just watch kids on the train or where ever and how they hate napping and think to myself if only you knew how much you would want this nap later in life. Crazy how things are just the opposite as you get older. That was kind of a side tangent I guess, but yeah to be quite frank, it has been hard the last week over here. Starting soccer added a whole different element to my life obviously and honestly is probably one of the hardest things I have ever done. You probably think that sounds crazy, but I never would have imagined either. Looking back on before I came here I always just thought soccer is soccer, the ball is round in America and it is round in Germany so just play. Which is true to a certain extent, but that doesn’t account for the communication part of it. It isn’t even that it is physically that hard as much as it is mentally and emotionally. God has been challenging me on different aspects like: why do I play soccer, and where does my identity lie and do I only like it when I am the best. I have sat through, given and heard so many times about playing for the glory of God and using your talents that He has blessed you with as an act of worship. All of this is so easy to say, but so hard to do and I have realized this in a whole new light.

I look back on last week’s practices and there were times where I literally wanted to just start crying on the field. Let me remind you my coaches speak next to no English, and some of the girls do but it is a lot to ask someone to translate everything for you, so in reality I find out a tenth of what goes on. I am always a step behind because I have to watch first, which sounds like not a big deal, but there really isn’t sympathy for that. Not to mention the game of soccer is a lot different of a game over here and so often I want to ask where I should be or what I should be doing, but I can’t. I never realized how much receiving the little bits of affirmation from your coaches actually helped affirm if you are doing the right or wrong thing. I get so nervous because I don’t want to let people down and then I play bad and then I do let people down so it’s this cycle. Satan was attacking me like crazy and just putting thoughts in my head that these girls won’t like me if I am not good, and then I will be known as the “bad American”. It all sounds so stupid, but it is intimidating walking onto a team of 25 girls and not speaking the same language. After this practice in particular I was just wrestling with the Lord in my head the whole way home.  Literally having a dialogue with myself.  Being like, ok Elizabeth why do you care if they think you are good? And what if you do never step on the field? Then I would catch myself thinking, but I am better than that girl and she plays, but then getting mad at myself thinking why do you have to put her down to make yourself feel better. Honestly just a battle in my head and then just wrestling with, do you only like soccer when you are the best and when it comes easy. Because honestly at this point, I just have to be mentally tough, show up and play and even if I get no feedback I just have to continue to guess what I am supposed to do. I have really challenged myself to be in constant prayer throughout practice though and pray for patience. The girls are all nice and some do speak English with me, but I lack confidence with my German and get really nervous, which hopefully I will overcome with time. This all might not make sense to you, but I guess for the first time I realized deep down at the root of me I have to know that in every aspect of my life my identity in the Lord. Even when things aren’t easy and I am not the best, because if you know me, you know that I do like to be the best at things and I hate being bad at things. The Lord is humbling me though and I am learning so much through soccer.

On top of all that, I have been reading a book called, “What’s so Amazing About Grace?” by Philip Yancey, which is really good. It has taught me a lot about what it looks like to love “different people” and in the world we live where it is so unnatural to extend grace how we can do it and why we should. Also how so often as much as we don’t want to admit it, we sin knowing that the Lord will forgive us. But like in Romans 6:1-2 it says, “What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means!” and a huge part that many people forget about grace is that we have to receive it. This is through repentance and when we repent we are in a defenseless state. It is crazy though to think how often I can live life and forget to truly repent and be “defenseless”. To me that is like going into battle without a weapon and instead I choose to justify rather than become defenseless before the Lord. Grace is something I struggle with wrapping my head around and that it is a free gift. Then you put the whole Grace vs. Truth in the mix and it’s a whole different conversation. Well there are a lot more things that the Lord has been revealing to me, but this is a glimpse into my life. Maybe you can relate, maybe you think I am crazy. At the end of the day, even though life can be hard, God is good and I want to be able to say that I picked up my cross, denied myself, and chased hard after the Lord.